Oh, cake. Lovely flourless chocolate torte. Nutty, spicy carrot cake with creamcheese icing. You tease me, you taunt me. But I can't have you. Quack's, I mean, doctor's orders. But wait? What's this? This is Jess's 31st Birthday Cake? Witty, comforting, encouraging, really-knows-what's-what Jess's celebratory confection? My health, be damned! I'm stuffing my face with it! Yum, Yum, Yum!